Hello All! I am so happy to be here. This is the first official interview under my new blog: Dit Mwen Tout (Tell Me All) where I share the stories and experiences of others with their permission. It’s been a fun yet challenging process putting it all together and conducting interviews but here we are, with gratitude and joy. 🙂

Today is actually my birthday and it is with an absolute full heart and the biggest grin on my face that I announce that my first published interview will be the one I did with my…………..MOM!

I’ve lived with both of my parents for most of my life, with the exception of studying abroad, working on cruise ships and travelling a lot to pursue my music. I think that I am the sibling out of the four of us who spent the most time with them. I did not think that getting this interview done would have been easy because my mom is a rather private person, but she agreed and was delighted to share. Thank you, mom! Have a read of our conversation below. 😀

1. Thank you for agreeing to this interview. May you please introduce yourself?

I am Marigold Ulysses. Born Dominican. A wife, sister, aunt, friend and mother of three and one angel. Past employee of the Government of Dominica for 36 years. An aspiring author and creative. I’ve recently dived back into my crochet and embroidery era, after having learned as a child. A big lover of my family and friends.

2. I am interviewing you firstly because you’re my mom (haha) and secondly because you are one of the strongest people that I know. What would you consider your greatest life achievement?

My children! I was blessed with four (now three and one angel) and I always give thanks that they all turned out quite fine! The way that they live their lives is a testament. It shows that they were taught right from wrong, and I am happy that they chose right. I guess I can say that I have had a successful working career. I don’t care much for material things so, yes. My children for sure.

3. You attribute your faith and strength to your own mom (Grand-ma Alma). What is one thing that she taught you that you will never forget?

I can’t just say one. Love. Honesty. Respect for others. Empathy. To be non-judgemental. She taught me to never give up on the things that I desire. To put faith first and to follow that faith till the end of my demonstration. Along with having faith is having a positive attitude. It helps bring the things that we want. A little warning attached to that was that actions always have consequences, so to at least carefully consider.

4. Random! What is your favourite colour and why?

Lilac! I love how calm it makes me feel. It’s not bright and conspicuous but you see it clearly. It is subtle and quiet.

5. What is one thing that you have tried to or succeeded in teaching your children that you hope they never forget?

To always have empathy, and to not judge others. Life has a way of taking us down certain roads in order for us to learn valuable lessons and so, do not look down on anyone, no matter their state. Treat them with respect, do your part and move on.

6. I know how much it hurt you because you were sort of powerless against selling Grand-ma Alma’s house. What would you do if you were given the opportunity to get it back?

That’s easy! My mom dedicated her life to being of service to others. There is enough space for two buildings on the property. At the front; a soup Kitchen! Behind that would be a Halfway House. My mother was always for the poor. She fed and helped countless people even when she had very little to give. Her house will carry on her legacy.

7. I have witnessed you help other people, and feed the poor all of my life, just as Grand-ma did. However, (and I’m guessing here like Grand-ma) you’ve always refused for that to be publicized. I’ve seen you expertly duck out of the camera’s way which usually sent me laughing. Can you tell us why?

My mom always said “What the right hand does, the left hand need not see.”

I feel that for them it’s kind of humiliating. The poor are people too, with feelings and emotions and in some cases, what is little left of their pride. I like to use dignity. I don’t think that they are comfortable with people taking pics of them in their time of dire need. The internet is a place where pics and videos never really completely disappear. I just don’t like it. I do what I do from the heart and need no publicity to carry out my chosen duties.

What thou doeth in secret shall be rewarded by the Lord, openly, and my rewards come in the form of blessings.

8. You’re a member of the St. Vincent de Paul Society in Dominica, and you guys run a feeding program. When it is your turn to prepare the meals, you rise as early as 4am, ensure that your kitchen is clean, and the food is prepared with the most care and love. The finished products are fit for Kings and Queens! You’ve never once put aside from any of those meals for yourself or your family. (and I am not kidding here guys. She shut us out of the kitchen! The whole house would be filled with the scent of the most delicious meals, and we already knew we couldn’t even pinch!) What does Integrity mean to you?

Trust is to be maintained. Integrity is to do what you are trusted to do even when the opportunity arises to bend or break the rules. Even when you are not being watched or observed. The food I prepare is for the homeless, and not for my household. No matter how good my Mac and Cheese or baked chicken smells, it’s for the poor. They deserve a great meal prepared with love too.

9. What’s one thing about you that is little known but may surprise people if they were to find out?

I. AM. AN. INTROVERT. (I can hear the crowd gasping! 😀 )

Believe it! I function very well in society. I love hosting folk and being social, but that’s rare.

****It’s my mom’s interview, but I deserve a little gasp too! Just want to show you guys how much we look alike! 😀

10. You’ve faced many a difficult situation in life. What kept you grounded through it all?

Faith. God. Prayers. I’ve always lived by the words “Nothing lasts forever, good or bad. This too shall pass.”

11. Who would you like to meet before you leave this Earth and why?

Julie Andrews! I just love her.

12. What’s one time in your life where you received concrete proof that we are being guided by and taken care of by a higher power?

Boy there were many! They are almost always linked to my supply, of whatever I wanted or needed at the time, and they usually happened very quickly when the situation seemed hopeless, and I had no choice but to give it all to God. When my son was diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy and needed to get out of Dominica in order to survive, God came through. When he was fitted with his first Pacemaker, the cost of the surgery was well over forty thousand usd. (Thats over one hundred thousand Eastern Caribbean Dollars)I was prepared to send in monthly installments and was already calculating when there was a knock at the hospital room door. It was a gentleman from a charity organization informing us that we were selected to have our bill paid in full! My knees will never be too weak to kneel in prayer and thanksgiving!

There was also an instance where I had lost some very important money. I worked in the government building and so it was a large complex filled with constant human traffic. I had already looked a million times both in the building and in the yard. I decided that I could do no more than trust that God would not let me lose that money. I called on St. Anthony and the next morning (Are ya’ll hearing me? The next morning!) there was my cash, lying out in the open on the walkway, waiting for me. Hundreds of people must have walked over my cash and were blinded by the force protecting my supply.

13. When my brother got sick and could no longer stay in Dominica, you drew blood from stone and moved heaven and earth to give him a fighting chance at survival. Many people, including a particular doctor tried to discourage you. The doctor had said ‘ He is going to die! Six months tops! Why are you still trying to send him away?” What kept you fueled and how do you feel knowing that six months turned into many years?

I remember saying “The doctors are not God! They can say whatever they want. My son is not staying here!” I believed that God was the only one to know how long my son would live, but I was for sure going to try. What would a mother not do for her children?

Early on when we were trying to figure out what was wrong with him, a nurse told me to my face “Ma’am can’t you see that your son is on drugs?” Meanwhile he was going into heart failure.

My faith kept me going. I felt deep within that I just had to try! After many years with a pacemaker and eventually a LVAD he passed away December 2022 . Though I am sad that he is gone, I know that his quality of life improved greatly because of what his family did for him. Sleep in peace my beloved.

14. What are your views on spirituality?

There is religion and I guess we each have ours, including those who choose not to have any. I believe that spirituality is the acknowledgement of the connection to the “other side”. It’s in the guardian angels that save our lives, the sense of wellbeing that comes from knowing that we are not alone and in the transitioned family members who visit us every once in a while, with blessings, good news or warnings. Permit me to tell a little story here. Since her death, I have not dreamt of my mother much. I feel her rather. But the times that I did dream of her were quite something. I dreamt of her TWICE giving me soursops to eat. The skins of the fruit were black, and they were ripe and ready to eat. As if by some miracle on both occasions I was sent soursop by friends or family that very week and I did as I was told in the dreams. I ate them. Soursop is praised for its supreme cancer fighting qualities and a tea from the leaves is a common drink in the Caribbean. Very shortly after having both dreams were the cancer diagnosis of my two brothers, one passed away in 2020. No one or nothing can tell me that my mother wasn’t preparing me for the news, while simultaneously protecting me from a diagnosis of my own as well. Bless her soul!

15. You know what it feels like unfortunately, to lose both your parents and a child. Any words of encouragement for people going through the loss of a dear one?

It is not an easy road. Grieve for as long as you need to. Everyone grieves or mourns differently and for various periods of time. Pace yourself. Some days will feel like you’re getting there and other days the wound is fresh and bleeds like crazy. Be gentle with yourself. Cry. Scream. Be alone. Go out and have fun. Whatever make you feel better in accepting the loss. Keep the great memories, they help!

16. Random-er. favourite movie and why.

The Sound of music! Julie Andrews in in it. No reason needed after that! 😀

17. Describe yourself in three words.

Happy. Down-to-Earth. Intuitive.